Today we were all ready for the transfer. I was thinking two, maybe three embryos. At least one. But the doctor called this morning and said that after fertilizing a few days ago, they all three stopped growing. Just stopped. No explanation as to why. But that means there are no embryos to transfer. No bed rest today. No pregnancy test in 2 weeks. That's it.
I've been through a range of emotions already, from devastation to rage to despair and defeat. Now I'm just a little numb. I don't really know what to do with myself. I guess I could have some caffeine or alcohol today. I could probably start running about a week or so. But those things are little consolation. Maybe Dane and I will try to take a vacation before I begin residency. Who knows. I think today I will lay on the couch and watch a mindless movie. I just don't think I can concentrate on anything else.
It's hard to believe it's over, just like that. We'll still find a way to be parents some day, but probably not until after residency. Thanks for following along on this crazy journey.
~Sarah
Oh my goodness, Sarah. I love you. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteSarah, this is Carol Brown, Hanako's mom. I am so very sorry. I am grieving with you right now. I have been keeping you in my prayers from afar and so somehow share in your loss. Please know that I will be lifting you up to God in prayer, so that he can comfort you. I hope you feel surrounded by the love of all your friends who have been taking this journey with you. Please tell Dane I am keeping him in my prayers, too.
ReplyDeleteAfter sitting here crying for the past twenty minutes, I am still at a loss for words. I am so sorry. I love you guys.
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